Articles
by Frances Bernfeld, M.Ed., LMFT
and Pam Corey
It may be that we find aspects of our behavior that we
would like to change. But we would never want to change who we are. Change
can be difficult to accomplish! We must first become aware of how our
behavior affects others and gets in the way for us, then decide if this
is something we really want to work on. Once we make the decision to behave
differently, then we have to gain the knowledge, develop the skills and
use the tools needed to accomplish our goals. This may be the hardest
part. It takes time, patience and practice, practice, practice.
(Did you ever hear the story of
the tourist in New York who asked a passerby, “How do I get to Carnegie
Hall?” The answer was, “Practice, practice, practice.”)
We begin at a level of unconscious
incompetence, where we really don’t know what we don’t
know. We believe that new skills will be easy to come by, especially when
we see others do “it” so easily. When we see someone playing
the piano, it may look easy to us. You just put your fingers on the keyboard
and play. We quickly become consciously incompetent!
We realize that it will take hard work to accomplish our goals. Then we
work very hard to become consciously competent…
focusing on what we are doing, but becoming more capable. Eventually we
can become unconsciously competent, which comes
when we do “it,” without even thinking about what we are doing.
The positive changes we make in our lives and have worked
hard to achieve can be rewarding not only to ourselves but to those who
are important to us. When we change our behaviors, those around us will
also change in their response to us. It is a privilege for us at the Center
for Family Enrichment to participate in your journey so that we are
“creating change together.”
Register for a course now,
or for further information, please contact us.
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